+~^*`->SiGnS<-`*^~+

I was having such a horrible morning today. I was in the internet cafe downstairs and their interenet connection was so slow and I was going to be late for Math class already. I was so pissed. And then I heard this song. As I was listening to it, I started to remember Moira. And so I dedicate this song to her because its lyrics say what I couldn't.

Mariah Carey - One Sweet Day (feat. Boyz II Men)

Sorry, I never told you, all I wanted to say.
Now it's too late to hold you. '
Cause you've flown away, so far away.

Never, Had I imagined, yeah, living without your smile.
Feelin' and knowing you hear me.
It keeps me alive. Alive!

And I know you're shining down on me from Heaven,
Like so many friends we've lost along the way,
And I know eventually we'll be together.
One sweet day.

Picture a little scene from Heaven.

Darling, I never showed you.
Assumed you'd always be there.
I took your presence for granted.
But I always cared
And I miss the love we shared.

And I know you're shining down on me from Heaven.
Like so many friends we've lost along the way.
And I know eventually we'll be together.
One sweet day.

Picture a little scene from Heaven.

Although, the sun will never shine the same, I'll
always look to a brighter day.

Yeah, Lord, I know, when I lay me down to sleep,
You'll always listen, as I pray!

And I know you're shining down on me from Heaven,
Like so many friends we've lost along the way,
And I know eventually we'll be together.
One sweet day.

And I know you're shining down on me from Heaven,
Like so many friends we've lost along the way,
And I know eventually we'll be together.
One sweet day.

Sorry, I Never told you, all I wanted to say.

~I'm sorry Moira. I miss you so much already. Love you. Rest in peace.~

+~`|=-*Rest In Peace*-=|`~+

August 22, 2005
2 AM

This was the time and date when my dearest friend, Moira, got into an accident. I don't want to tell you all the details anymore since it really wouldn't make a difference. What's done is done, and that's what hurts the most. I wish I had the chance to spend time with her. I remember that just two weeks ago she called me on my cellfone to tell me that she'd be coming here on the 20th and that she'd call me back some time this week to make plans. That was the last time I talked to her. If I knew that this would happen, I would have talked to her all night long. But that's just the thing. No one knew. No one had a clue. It just happened. I still can't believe that she's gone already. It just hurts so much because we were really close friends. I know we still are. I know that right now she is watching over all of us. I just wish that we had more time with her. Now I realize that we really have to make the most out of our time. Tell your family and friends that you love them. Better yet, show them that you love them. Because you'll never know when you'll lose that special person. For some reason, the tears never stop falling and the pain doesn't die. I think it never will.

Moira, wherever you are right now, I know that you're happy. I love you so much, Moi. And I'm sorry if I didn't have the chance to tell you that lately. Better late than never, right? Thank you for all the memories and for all the good and bad times. You will always be a part of me. You will surely be missed by all of us. In a way, this incident brought us all together. Thank you. Thank you for EVERYTHING. I just hope things didn't happen so fast. I'm still in the stage of denial. I don't think I could ever accept the fact that you're gone. I know you will always be here in spirit, though. I love you so much. May your soul be peaceful and content. See you in time, Moi. No goodbye's.

~You may not be here physically but your spirit will always be present. You will never ever be forgotten. NEVER. I love you Moira. I hope you know that.~

~`0-=aNgEr=-0`~

I can't believe it. I hate this moment so much. I've got so many things on my mind and I just can't stop thinking of my problems. At least something good happened today. Yup. I surprised Sean today because it's our monthsary and he really got shocked. I just love his reaction. *heeheeh* After that everything went downhill. No transportation for tomorrow night, my sister's mad at me because I forgot to bring home her slippers, and I don't have transportation for Saturday. I'm gonna have such along weekend and now pretty much everything's ruined. I hate that. When everything's perfect, that's when everything will collapse. Oh yeah, I got an F on my Math midterm exam. PERFECT. That's it for now. Bye.

~I hope when I wake up everything would be fine.~

~`_=-. LiFe iS sTiLL .-=_`~

Damn! This week was really hard for me. Everyday was so tiring because we had tests almost everyday. On Monday we had our Chemistry quiz, Tuesday we had our Filipino long test and our P.E. practical exam, Thursday we had our Math long test, and Friday we had our Math midterm exam. It really sucks. So it's Saturday now and I still have so many things to do like drafting plates, a profile essay, and other stuff that I can't even remember anymore. Anyway, Math was really hard! Both the long test and the midterm exam. I literally had a headache after the midterm exam. I'm glad that it's Saturday now because I get to spend time with Sean and my family and friends. I'm actually sitting between Bianca (my sister) and Sean right now! Yup, we're in Netopia and we're all wasting our money on internet minutes. I can't wait for the week to start again because I really want it to be over right away!

I've been thinking a lot lately. I've been thinking about how hard life is already and how I can't be lazy like before especially when it comes to school. I can't be tempted to cut because I really want to have high grades. Yeah, I know it's really hard to do that but I'm really trying. Like for the Math tests, I stayed up until about 1 or 2 am. I almost didn't wake up the next day. Oh well. I hope everything will be ok this week. Ciao!

~Let me know if I'm doing this right, let me know if my grip's too tight, let me know if I could stay all of my life. Let me know if dreams can come true, let me know if this one's yours too. Cause I see it and I feel it right here. And I feel you right here. >Gemini by Spongecola<~

~`WiLLy WoNkA! WiLLy WoNkA!`~

We watched Charlie and The Chocolate Factory today! So nice! I watched with Pierre, Bez and Sean. I had so much fun! I am hating two people SO MUCH today. Mga epal sa buhay eh. Anyhoo, I despise my sister for being such a bitch to me. Oh no my Mom's here. Bye.

~Hate controls me.~

~`wHy CaN't I bE pErFeCt?`~

If i have to be perfect for him to accept me, then I would try my best to be perfect. What he said is right. That I don't think before I act. And not thinking before acting make him mad at me. It makes us fight, and I hate fighting with people, especially with him. It makes me weak inside whenever I would have a fight with him. I just wish I would be perfect for him. It hurts so much when you realize that the one you love can't forgive and accept you. That you can't give him what he needs. Maybe I deserve this. Maybe I don't deserve to be happy anymore. It's just that I don't want things between us to end because I really love him so much and I don't think I could let go.

~Never enough.~

`~sUcKs~`

I'm stuck here in the condo because I'm sick. Right about now I'm supposed to be on my way to P.E. class. It's so boring here. I just finished my paper on Baclaran and it feels good to have finished something. Finally. Sean's mad at me. I hate this feeling. Maybe he's right. I wasn't thinking. I hate myself. Short sentences. Nothing to do. Boring.

I'm starting to think that maybe...I don't know. I don't know anymore. I just hate not knowing. I have so many problems right now. It is unfair. We haven't done anything wrong or bad to deserve this. I have nothing more to say. Bye.

~Hate takes over me.~

**PeOpLe PeOpLe PeOpLe**

`~nOsEy~`
I just hate her. She's so mean to my Mom and she's accusing my Mom of teaching us how to hate and fear our Dad. I mean, how freaking stupid is that? Who the hell wouldn't be upset if your Dad has another family already? And sometimes y0ou even feel worthless because he spends most of his time with them. Doesn't that hurt? Doesn't it make one mad and vulnerable? And sensitive. I really think she should think hard before she says things because she just sounds stupid. And why does she have to be such a nosey person? She has her own problems and we have our own problems. I've hated her eversince. She expects us to ignore situations where my Dad brings his other family's car here to get cleaned. Damn her. I just wish she doesn't go through what we're going through because I don't think she can handle it. She treats me as if I'm her daughter. Well, I'm not. She does not have the right to tell me what to do and what not to do. She doesn't have the right to tell me not to be too sensitive. So what if I am? I'd never ask her to change, even if she should, so why should she ask me to change? I hate her so much. I don't ever want to see or talk to her. Stay away from us because we hate you.

`~BiTcH~`
The bitch that destroyed our family. My hatred for her will never go away. Even if my Dad "loves" her (*YUCK!*) I will never accept her. I hate the fact that she knew that my Dad had a family but still she went for him. And now they have a kid. I despise her because she wants nothing from my Dad but money. But he doesn't see that. I don't exactly know what he saw in her. She's not even pretty or sexy. She's so damn fugly. Seeing her makes me want to vommit. I'm disgusted by her. The mere image of her sleeping beside my dad and waking up beside him makes me weak. Maybe because he used to wake up beside me, my Mom, and my sister. All of us on one big bed. Yes, it hurts so much. No other pain could top this. Of all the people in the world in had to happen to us. How stupid. How unfair. Burn in hell, Bitch!

`~StRoNgEsT pErSoN iN tHe wOrLd~`
My Mom. She's the strongest person ever. Imagine having all these problems and still having the strength to laugh and spend time with us. Even if she's smiling I know she's depressed and really sad inside. Maybe i could tell because she's my mother. Somehow I, too, am like that. I may smile all the time but deep inside I'm dying. I know it sounds dramatic but that's how I really feel. I love my Mom whether we have money or not. Money will never define my relationship with people. I'm just not like that. Don't give up, Ma.

`~mY sTrEnGtH~`
Sean. He's the only one I could really talk to lately. He comforts me all the time and he really understands me. I'm so glad we have each other. It's so amazing how he listens to all the bullshit that comes out of my mouth. And he doesn't even complain about it. If not for him, I could have killed myself a long time ago. He helps me solve my problems and understand why things are happening. Sometimes I wonder why he puts up with me, though. I've been complaining about problems for the past year and he's still here with me. Things may be so much harder now since we don't see each other everyday, but he still loves me and supports me with all my decisions. So unbelievable. Thank you so much, Baby. Love you!

~Life's a joke.~